Cassandra Roberson-Kelley Enterprises
Cassie's Comedy Corner VI
WARNING: Enter At Your Own Risk! LOL
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." ~Proverbs 17:22 (King James Version)
Okay...By Now You Know da Drill! LOL
In the WONDERFUL Book of Psalms 150:6 it reads,
"Let EVERYTHING that hath BREATH praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD."
Now...look around, find a neighbor, an animal, a plant, WHATEVA, and ask 'em, "Uhm... iz you "BREATHIN'"? lol
Well, what iz you...I mean, "are" you waitin' on, then? Get t' PRAISING the LORD like HE said t' do...shoot! :)
**Monday, April 18, 2011**
Sir B. Chase Williams:
The Challenges have already started, but I will not allow them to cause me to lose focus! I'm gonna keep my eyes on the PRIZE and whatever happens, happens!!!! Yet claiming VICTORY in spite of....
Yes, Sir! Give God an "In Spite of Praise," and He'll turn around and give you one o' His "I AM That I AM Blessings"! WHAT?! :)
Living by my "CraZy Faith"-n-lovin' it,
Me/"Cassie"...Missing My S.K.I.T.T.L.E.S.:
CANDYYYYY!!! HEEEEYYYY, "BOO"!
I "MESSAGED" YOU ON YO' MOBILE PHONE OFFICE! I NEED T' HEAR FROM YOUUUUU! :)
Yo' S.K.I.T.T.L.E.S., havin' a few "issues"...
but WHATEVA, tho (lol),
"Sweet Lady Candy Clinkscale Morton":
My Friend......I texted you back on yesterday! (Sunday, April 17, 2011) Did you not get it? I promise! Something wrong with your phone??????? Lol I told you via text......I'm free!!!!! Free......Free......Free! Check that phone of yours......or you may have to get a new one!!! Lol!
Callin' AT&T...STAT! (lol)
Sis...I've been missin' texts left and right, and I DON'T KNOW WHY! Shoot! Lemme call deez peoplez down yonder at da AT&T right NOW!
I will call you later. In da meantime...
I STILL love ya! ;) **wink**
"Sweet Lady Candy":
With that phone...you get all yo' messages!!!!! Lol
I still love you too...but get that fixed!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!
Yeah...RIGHT! I've got some stories 'bout iPhone as well, but I ain't goin' into THAT right now, 'cause I gotz t' talk wit' AT&T 'bout this here BlackBerry! LOL
Okay...just hung up from AT&T. As it turns out, over the weekend (or thereabout) there was a power outage somewhere, about 2 miles North of me. One (1) of two (2) cell phone towers within a three-mile radius was affected. Others within a 10-mile radius also experienced power outages. Wheeeew! I was 'bout t' say...well, NEVA mind what I was 'bout t' say. Just look to hear from me at some point tonight! LOL
"Sweet Lady Candy":
Lol......so my response to you is hung up in the air somewhere.
It's all good......
Talk about "LIVE & IN COLOR"!
Lawd, PLEASE have just a li'l mercy on ME! lol
Lovin' me some
"LADY SYLVIA CUNNINGHAM" w/ALL that I AM,
Cassie, you are too funny! Love me sum u!!!
Sir Dr. Frederick D. Haynes, III:
People feed pigeons, but they shoot at eagles!
If your haters are shooting at you,
they know you're an eagle!
If it LOOKS like an eagle, FLIES like an eagle,
SOARS like an eagle, and SURVIVES like an eagle, then it's an eagle. Hello...my name is Cassandra, and I'm an eagle in GOD's Kingdom. Shoot your BEST shot, honey, 'cause in EVERY situation, GOD's got HIS "eye" on YOU! Have fun feedin' dem pigeons. "See" ya! :)
Singing, "I Believe I Can Fly,"
"Lady Linda L. Ransom":
I believe with God...It "always" gets greater later!!
If you weren't in my "personal" hell...
you will never understand my
Okay, "Lady Linda"...I admit that I WAS NOT in
your "personal" hell, but there is NO WAY in hell,
around hell, and outside o' hell that ANYBODY's
gonna make me believe that I DON'T "understand"
your "personal" hallelujah, honey!
Wanna know why? Don't worry...I'm gon' tell you:
You & I are "Kingdom Kinfolks" - children of the Most High God (Who we BOF "believe with," by the way), AND God done already told us in His Word, "...in ALL thy getting, get an "understanding." NOW what, huh? NOW what? Shoot...NEXT!!! lol
Done GOT mad...but yet lovin' you all at da SAME time,
"Lady Angela (Gray) Blair":
Me Don't Want No Shot, Doctor!!!
I Scurred!!! What? A Shot in The BooBoo??
It's Tuesday! **April 19, 2011**
This is wack!! Hmmph!
Woman-up and take it like a MAN, "Lady AGB"!
Oh...wait. MAN is even MORE "scurred" than THAT.
So, NEVA mind. :)
Wishin' ya all da BEST in da "sitchashun" (lol),
"Lady Robin Gray":
**A cousin of "Lady AGB"**
Angie, get the shot and get on up out of there, lol!
Realtalk, cuz I don't like needles either, ouch!!!
Overseer-Elect Sylvia Cunningham:
"We have this TREASURE in earthen vessels
(II Corinthians 4:7)..."
Beware of TREASURE SNATCHERS...spiritual pirates who come into your territory, recognize what God has placed inside of you...then attempt to hijack your anointing, steal your strategies and vandalize your vision!
I know ONE "thang"...if dem dang ol' TREASURE SNATCHERS roll up on THIS "Kingdom Vessel"...callin' themselves "tryna" HIJACK my ANOINTING, then H. G. (the Holy Ghost) Himself is gonna SNATCH 'em up, JACK 'em up, and watch 'em BACK their "KraZy" butts up t' go PACK their "empty" li'l KNAPSACKS up, right before da dirt (grave) has a chance t' RACK 'em ALL up! WHAT?!
HOLDIN' what I GOT...so won't NOBODY get SHOT (lol),
Sure, God NEITHA Slumbers NOR Sleeps. So, I guess I Should NEVA think it Strange WHENEVA He decides to wake me up after 4 o'clock in da A.M. to Share a divine revelation with me.
HOWEVA, I Suppose there's good reason why it can't Seem to wait at least three (3) more hours. I'm just Sayin'. **yawns**
"Lady Monique S. Ross":
My mama's twin, you sho' be on it!
I love it!
Thanks, "Cuz'n Monique"!
Shucks...I'm Still OVA here yawning, girl! Got coffee?
Yes, ma'am, I do. I'm already 3 cups in. LOL
"Lady Evangelist Dr. Mary White" on da FB:
Good morning fb friends! A beautiful thought today, "Being silent takes more restraint than speaking your mind." Practice restraint!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, ma'am. Seemingly, it is MUCH EASIER for a MOTOR MOUTH to follow the "ORDER OF COMPLAINING" than it is to TURN IT AROUND and serve that SAME MOUTH with a "RESTRAINING ORDER"!
Pondering on this "beautiful thought" (lol),
"Lady Darlene Willis":
So true, but so hard to do.
Sometimes some people just need to be told off...lol
I plead "The Fifth..."
**Lips TIGHTLY sealed for my OWN protection** :)
Hey, that's keeping it real.
My FAVOR-RIGHT (favorite) daughter "Lady Crystal Renee' Kelley,"
Cuttin' up as usual! **where does she get it from, pray tell?!** LOL
Crackin' up BIG TIME-n-lovin' it,
Talking Tom- Praise Break
This is for the remnant! hahaha
"Lady Crystal Renee'":
Touch your neighbor and say, "Fresh, fresh, fresh." LOL
Y'all pray for my mind! haha!
LOL...(L)aid (O)ut (L)ongwayz!
Jesus? JESUS? Come in, JESUS!!! :)
"Sweet Lady Candy Clinkscale Morton":
**Saturday, April 30, 2011**
What a wonderful day spent with a wonderful FRIEND! Love ya much, Cassie! You are a Diamond. Thank God for Friends!
No...thank YOU, my "cavity-causing" sista-friend CANDY! Get it? Sweet like candy?
Oh...NEVA mind! MUAH!
Your S.K.I.T.T.L.E.S. 4EVA, six-and-a-half weeks and counting,
"Cassie's" Li'l "Friendly" Reminder:
(S)isters (K)eeping (I)n (T)ouch (T)o (L)ove, (E)ncourage & (S)upport
Uhm...while I'm at it,
lemme throw a li'l Scripture on ya
for good measure:
~King James Version~
"A friend loveth at ALL times, and a brother (or sister) is born for adversity." What does that mean?
It means that through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I'll be there fo' ya!
Why? 'Cause I was BORN to do this! Any mo' questions? Keep 'em! LOL
Oh, how I love the word, "ALL." Don't you? Well, you should! :)
0/<--Cheers to da Phenomenal "Lady Phebe"!
(Dr. Phebe Moore Simmons)
Phree coffee for EVERYONE that's on da
"Phebe Island," in celebration of her Phantabulously "delicious" birthday, on this here 3rd day o' da Phiph monph o' May, in the year of our Lord 2011! Whoo-hoo! This afternoon phree "dranks" o' Strawberry Slush, and then later tonight "Deliverance Service"...Oops! NEVAmind. Uhm...that there is ONLY betwixt "the Mr. & the Mrs."
"Antywho"...WE LOVE YOU, "LADY PHEBE"! Enjerrrr...I mean, ENJOY, Sis! MUAH!
Just "Phun'n" wit' ya (as usual, but WHATEVA, tho...lol),
Lady Cassie, you are too much!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!! Thank you so much for your words of celebration on my behalf! And as far as that deliverance service goes...uhhhh, yep...that's on the agenda as well!! LOL
"Lady Don Denise Reed":
Grateful!! Grateful!! Grateful!!!!!!!!!!
(in my singing voice)
You BETTA "sang" it, too, Sis!
I dare ya t' take it UP a key! WHAT?! :)
Grateful BEYOND adequate description,
You are crazy!!! Tell your mother I said, "Happy Mother's Day"!!!!
I love you all, and tell your dad I said, "Hello"!!!!
- "Lady Crystal Renee' Kelley" (Musical Genius and "Assistant Mother")
- Sir Vincent Jerell Kelley (Advanced Academic Scholar)
- Sir Xavier Darnell Kelley (The Adorable Adventurer)
**After giving it MUCH thought**
Wait just a cotton-pickin', pea-snappin', hog-tyin', chicken-chasin', cow-milkin', rabbit-huntin' minute! YOU mean t' tell ME that outta ALL o' da dad-blasted "thangs" a REAL mother done DONE fo' da 'tire wuhl (the entire world), da woman ONLY gets ONE day o' celebration?! That varmint-of-a-devil IS a lie! LOL
"Happy Mother's Year"
To: ME & EVERY MAMA EVERYWHERE!
"Lady Everlyn Taylor Harris":
"Lady Ruby Gentry":
I love it!!!!!
"Lady Cindy Lopez Werth":
"Lady Crystal Renee' Kelley":
Mama, you're celebrated er'day!!! LOL! Love ya!! :)
SN (Side Note): This is MY mama...she doesn't belong to anybody else! Well, except my brothers, my daddy, my grandparents...ok, I'll share...LOL
Honey, MAMA's ROCK! I don't know what y'all think this iz...
up in here, down da street, and 'round da "cornTer"! WHAT?! **smh**
"Lady Crystal Renee'":
Why do you have to be a hot mess er'mornting?!
'Cause "I AM" said that I am FREE t' BE ME!
Now, any mo' questions, "Boo"? Keep 'em! LOL
You know I loves you, tho...don'tcha? MUAH! ;) **wink**
Apostle Donald Thompson aka "Triple 'A' Preacher":
Well now, you all have to share other parts of the year with others; without "Daddies" there would be no mothers (Cheeze). "Mother's Day": a manner of bestowing public honor upon all, even they who have done absolutely nothing publicly. Nevertheless, we honor you all - Happy Mother's Day.
You're absolutely right, Sir!
Claim YOUR YEAR for da "Daddies," too, my friend.
It's ALL GOOD, and TRUTH be told...it's ALL GOD!
Amen, lights and ceiling fans and windows and doors! LOL
"Lady Dr. Phebe Moore Simmons":
Yes, indeed!! LOL
Apostle Donald Thompson aka "Triple 'A' Preacher":
You have an awaiting spot on comedy tv...lol
Trust me...they AIN'T READY fo' me! LOL
"Lady La'Trice Wilson" aka "Peaches":
Now looky derrrrrr, sumbody dun got Cassie all stirrrred up. But I'zzzzz N total agreevment wit' hur...Happy Mama's day to my "big tister"...Smile.
Thanks fo' "feelin' me," Sis...God KNOWS I'm "tryna" EXPLAIN it "to" 'em and make it "ver, ver" PLAIN "for" 'em. But to TRULY understand it requires a li'l bit o' BRAIN-work "from" 'em. Ha-Glory! I gotta STOP, I know. Now, tell me somethin' I DON'T know. Oops! UGH! There I go AGAIN, sayin' a WHOLE LOT. So sorry 'bout that, y'all...uhm, yeah...NOT! **Sigh** :)
"Lady La'Trice" aka "Peaches":
The Love & Marriage Thing
Oh, "Ain't love GRAND?" Yep. I'm tellin' ya: It just cracks me up, when I think about the many, MANY times that my "hubby" has asked me, during these "'bout t' be 26" years of marriage (June 22nd),
"What am I gon' do wit' YOU?"
Well, it seems to me that God, apparently, keeps tellin' da man what to do, 'cause he's YET married to me today! Uhm...Hellerrrr. Halleluyerrrr. How're yerrrr? :)
Let da "Lovebirds Record" show that "it's STILL good in da Kelleyhood!"
Y'all don't hear me, tho; but WHATEVA, tho! LOL
Take a "ver, ver" GOOD look at THIS woman:
My Bea-YOU-tiful Sista-Friend in Christ...
"Overseer-Elect Sylvia Cunningham"
**"The Devil-Binding Paralyzer"**
If ANYBODY happens to see her, at ANYTIME and ANYWHERE, give her a BIG ol' hug fo' me, and hold onto her 'til I can get there!
J/k...you can let her go! LOL
Ya know...it REALLY SHOULD be a crime to be SO pretty. Just be a "li'l pretty"! Geez! **smh**
Cassie, you are too funny, and I love you soooooooooooooooo much!
"Lady Cymien 'Cym' Hughes," Posing as a News Anchorwoman:
May 6, 2011
There is an outbreak of people randomly disappearing, and no, it's not the rapture. The only explanation is:
Symptoms of this syndrome include:
- Swollen fist
- Deep depression
- Restless behavior
If you have or know of anyone showing one (1) or more of these signs, seek help immediately! Back to you "Bob."
**Pretending to be "Bob"**
"Bob": Sorry, Cym, I "cain't" see my cue cards fo' doin' ALL o' this here cryin'-n-carryin' on. "Somebody Else" gotta take it, 'cause now I'm beginning to suffer from "deep depression." Here, "Somebody"! **smh**
Praying for "Bob" n'em in their loss (our gain),
"Cassie" as Herself
Hahahaha!! Too funny!!
Yet ANOTHA Case of "Sibling Rivalry" With My S.K.I.T.T.L.E.S.,
"Sweet Lady Candy Clinkscale Morton"
**After one of HER futile attempts to ACE a few "dance moves" off of an
XBox 360 game, during HER celebration of "Mother's Day" (lol)**
With "bowed eyes and closed head"...I mean, "bowed head and closed eyes":
Father...Ohhhh, FATHER! Outta ALL o' da MANY prayer requests that have been submitted to You PRIOR to now, and even those that ARE being sent to You at THIS hour, I REALLY need You to make my earnest plea for HELP, on behalf of my S.K.I.T.T.L.E.S., a "TOP PRIORITY." Well, I know it's just one of MANY on Your HUMONGOUS Prayer List, and, of course, You control the "what's" and the "how's"...but, if You will, PLEASE let the "when" be NOW! In Jesus' MIRACULOUS-WORKING name I pray. Amen. :)
Turning my faith UP a notch...or two or three (sigh),
"Sweet Lady Candy":
Friend, I'm not understanding your prayer!!!!! Are you on my side or not?
Just what are you praying?!!!!!! Emmmmm
Ahem...FIRST of all, "WHAT" I prayed was betwixt the FATHER & ME. In other words, "A & B." SECOND of all, just 'cause YOU knew exactly "WHO" I was praying 'bout, don't mean ya needz t' know ALL o' da particulars at THIS point in time, etc. etc. THIRD of all, I suggest that YOU simply "C" yo' way out, and let HIM take care o' da rest "WHENEVA" & "HOWEVA" that will be! Thank ya "ver, ver" much. The End
STRAIGHT-UP...'cause "THAT'S WHAT'S UP" (lol),
"Lady Barbara Watson Jackson" on da FB 05/14/11:
Hey, I forgot to wish you a Belated
Happy Mother's Day.
Hope it was a blessed day for you enjoying your family.
Thank you, "Lady Barb"!
It AIN'T NEVA too late, honey,
'cause EVERYDAY is "Mother's Day"!
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout? LOL
I needz fo' "errrrybody" t' hurry up and GET DA REVELATION wit' da quickness; but in da MEANTIME, I'll just keep right on "Mothering" merrily along - rejoicing, dancing, and singing my song! Ya got it? GOOD. :)
My goodness...it must be fun around your house all the time. :)
More like, "Live At The Apollo"!
LOL...(L)aid (O)ut (L)ongwayz! Help, LAWD! **smh**
FUN'n With "Lady LeJuene Thompson"
On da FB Re: Her Birthday 05/15/11
"Lady LeJuene" -
just before "LeJuelye"
and right after "LeMaye" -
I hope your special BIRTHDAY
is a "ver, ver" HAPPY one! OKAY?
Enjoy it to da fullest,
and trust that there'll be MORE on da WAY!
Wit' lots o' love-n-BEST wishes-n-stuff (lol),
"Lady LaShun Pace" On da FB 05/18/11:
Good Morning, Facebook! "Reborn" will be available June 28 in stores everywhere! Thanks to Derek Blanks and the team for the great photo shoot!
**Out o' many other great compliments**
"Lady LaShun"...you KNOW this ain't you. STOP playing! LOL I'm just kiddin', Sis. YOU look WONDERMOUSLY FANTABULOUS, and THAT ain't no lie! ;) **wink**
Celebrating & Embracing ALL o' da "NEW YOU,"
And a special thanks to Richard Smallwood for that comment. :)
**"Cassie" NOTE: He said, "BEAUTIFUL, La Shun...love you!"**
You all make a girl feel real special.
I really love you all, and don't forget a sister on June 28!
Me/"Cassie" ALL up on "Lady Jermia Cannon"'s FB Wall 05/23/11:
**Nuff said...I mean, done;
'cause I don't know if you can handle TOO MUCH more o' that there!** :)
Just givin' a li'l "drive-by" shout-out t' ya (lol),
Thanks so much for the love!
You right, I can only take so much!! LOL
See? I KNOW what I KNOW, honey! Come on outta here! LOL
LOL...yes, you do know!!
"Lady Dr. Phebe Moore Simmons"
@ Approx. 5:20 P.M. CST on da FB 05/23/11:
**Remember: Monday is her favorite day of the week. Period.**
Listen...do you hear that?
Shhhhhh...that, my dear, is what we call silence!
Ahhhhhh...the work day is done!
Happy Monday evening, FB!!
Happy Majestic Monday to ya, "Lady Phebe"!
Make it last 'til 11:59 P.M., honey! MUAH!
Yes indeed, Lady Cassie...11:59 and 59 seconds!! LOL
Ecstatic About Meeting "Lady Evangelist Dr. Patricia R. Lewis":
YAY! I get to meet you face-to-face next week at the COGIC Women's International Convention in Dallas, TX! Whoo-hoo! I'm so happy 'til I KNOW what to do! Yes, ma'am! I WILL find you, and I WILL give you such a BIG hug that you might need to SAT down somewhere to allow "da wind" - that's gonna be knocked OUT o' ya - to return back INTO ya! I'm just sayin'...and warning ya. #Thatisall :)
Cheezin' BIG TIME-n-"errrrythang" right about now,
Hahaha! You're too funny, and I can't wait to meet you too.
We must do lunch or dinner.
Overseer Sylvia W. Cunningham:
TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF IT!
DON'T SAY A MUMBLING WORD!
Relax...sit back, be still and watch God!
**For just a li'l bit mo' clarity...lol**
Yes, ma'am! See demonstration below:
- \0/<--HANDS OFF!
- _/<--SIT yo' and my own hips down in this here SEAT,
- SHUT-to-the-UP, while God shows us what's REALLY UP! :)
Lips NOW sealed...until further notice (lol),
"Lady Annette Copeland":
Ohhh...Yes...I'm going to sit back and watch this show! I think I'll have a Cold Pepsi and Some Popcorn.
My Overseer - "You're Talking Good"!!!!!!!!
ANOTHA "Cassie" NOTE:
Y'all REALLY need to ORDER-n-READ
"Lady Sylvia"'s new book, "You're Talking Good!"
Go to my "What's New?" page for more information.
Thanks, "peeps"! :)