Cassandra Roberson-Kelley Enterprises
Cassie's Comedy Corner
WARNING: Enter At Your Own Risk! LOL
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." ~Proverbs 17:22 (King James Version)
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!
Okay...so, I'm sitting in a restaurant, browsing through the menu. Shortly thereafter, a waitress approaches my table and asks, "What would you like to drink?" To which I replied, "Ice tea." She then asked, "Would that be hot or cold?" In disbelief I answered, "Cold. ICE TEA? (while thinkin', 'Duh!')" Minutes later the waitress returns, bringing me a coffee mug, some hot water, and a tea bag! **Sigh**
The next time you come to a FORK in "the road of life," take the SPOON; because, as the song says, "Jesus will pick (or how 'bout SCOOP? lol) you up, if He has to reach waaaay down." \0/<--- (wit' hands all up in da air) What in da turkey - besides cornbread stuffin' - does that mean? Ha-ha! I'm just playin', y'all!
A few weeks ago I received a notice from YOU about an important meeting scheduled for tonight. With great anticipation, I was talking to MYSELF about it. I said, "YOU is also supposed to meet ME and OTHERS at WE's house tonight to plan the next fundraiser event." MYSELF responded, "Oh, really?" I replied, "Yep. WE is gonna serve plenty refreshments, too!" Filled with excitement, I could hardly wait.
Suddenly, THEY ran up to MYSELF and I, screaming, "Hey, US and THEM got extra complimentary tickets to see SOMEBODY tonight! Wanna come?" I looked at MYSELF, and asked, "How 'bout it?" MYSELF answered, "Sure, but what about YOU?" I exclaimed, "Forget YOU! Shoot! This ain't ANYBODY that THEY is talkin' 'bout here! This is SOMEBODY - greater than ANYBODY and NOBODY put together! Okay? Think about it." "Well...okay," MYSELF agreed. "Kewl!" I said with glee. So, THEY handed the extra tickets over to MYSELF and I, before leaving to buy a new outfit at OUR and THEIR Department Store.
Now, the question is: Should I go, or should I not? LOL
Notice how some folks' "get-up-n-go" has seemingly "sat-down-n-stayed"?
I'm tellin' ya..."the THRILL is gone," and ZEAL is a "no-go zone"! But here's whatcha need t' do:
Whenever you come face-to-face with "such-n-such" and "so-n-so," encountering "this-n-that" and "that-n-this," along with "whatever else-n-what have you" or "whatnot," just count it all joy! For in it you'll find the patience and strength you need to endure and succeed in "thus-n-so"..."so forth-n-so on"!
**Singing** "You are my sunshine, my only (well...not ONLY, but ya know...) sunshine! You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never (well...I wouldn't say NEVER, but ya know...) know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away!" :)
Call me "CraZy," if ya wanna, but sometimes, while reading certain Scriptures in the Holy Bible, I receive a slightly different translation for 'em, such as:
Psalms 14:1a and Psalms 53:1a (KJV)
"The fool hath said in his heart,
'There is no God.'"
"He that said straight from his heart,
'There is NO God,' is a STRAIGHT-UP fool!"
(New Cassie International Version)
Psalms 46:10a (KJV)
"Be still, and know that I am God."
"Get yo'self somewhere-n-SAT down, and lemme show you who I be!"
(New Cassie International Version)
PLEASE NOTE...AND DON'T GET IT TWISTED:
THE "NCIV" IS JUST MY OWN CREATIVE, PERSONAL EXPRESSION THROUGH INSPIRATIONAL WRITING. BY ALL MEANS, WE MUST LIVE BY AND STICK TO GOD'S ORIGINAL SCRIPT FOR HOLY LIVING. FOR HE HAS SUPREME AUTHORITY OVER ANY AND ALL OTHER TRANSLATIONS AND INTERPRETATIONS BY ANYBODY ANYWHERE. YA GOT IT? GOOD. :)
A Facebook Post (05/04/10) by My Sister-in-Christ and Friend For Life:
"Lady Dr. Phebe Moore Simmons":
"Lady Phebe": A recent study found that happiness is partly determined by personality traits that are largely inherited from parents (Journal of Biosciences Hypotheses, May 2009)...so, be careful who you make babies with...personality traits run through the bloodline...gives a whole new meaning to, "I was born this way." Wow! :)
Me/"Cassie" (in reply): Hmmm..."entrysting"! lol My precious chi'ren's veins contain a plethora of my "happy" in their blood. It was a force "entry"/"sting" operation that they didn't see comin'! No wonder I can only stay mad at 'em fo' a split second, then it's "Live At the Apollo" again! \0/<--- (wit' hands all up in da air) I'm like: "Uhm...wait a minute. HOLD UP! What just happened to my mad?!" LOL
"Time" cannot capture GOD, because the "Eternal" GOD, Who existed before "Time" began, has "Time" in a headlock: HE's all on top o' "Time"...until HE's ready t' let "Time" go t' show (manifest) "Its" FACE in yo' SPACE of "real-time." So, it ain't just about "Time," but it's ALL about GOD! Wheeeew! **smh**
If you've run out o' "Amen's," don't worry. I came wit' my own.
Okay, thanks (that is all)! LOL
For those of you who didn't get the MEMO or, perhaps, you did get it but FORGOT t' REMEMBA what it said:
"The 'sky' is NO LONGER the limit...GOD is!"
BAM!!! There it is. If ya didn't know, now ya know. HELLO!
-Paid Advertisement by Yahweh (not to be confused with Yahoo!)
While traveling on the "Highway To Heaven" (**HONK!** Heyyyy, "Lady Phebe"!), it's NOT unusual to see GOD's royal fleet of "converted"/convertible SUV's (Sanctified & Undignified Vessels) fresh off the showroom/"threshing" floor. If YOU are one of THEM today, lemme hear ya HONK/"make some noise," if ya love JESUS! **HONK! HONK!** :)
"Lady Phebe" (05/26/10): The best part of waking up...is waking up...THEN, Folger's in your cup! Thank God for the coffee bean! Whoo-hoo! :)
Me/"Cassie" (in reply): Thank You, God, for the coffee bean! Coffee bean, thank you for the caffeine (in moderate amounts, of course)! Caffeine, thank you for helping me to sit or stand up straight and not lean! \0/<--- (wit' hands all up in da air) Now, what in da turkey - besides cornbread stuffin' - does THAT mean?! LOL **solicitin' da prayers o' da righteous fo' REAL!** :)
Check this out, why don'tcha: There's been folks to tell me, "Cassie, you're TOO funny! lol" or "Cassie, you're TOO much! LOL!" But you know what? "I beg the difference" (beg to differ); because the GOD that I serve is a GREAT, BIG GOD! As a matter o' fact-n-Truth, HE's the reason why I'm here in the first place! Ya heard me? Compared to HIS existence, which surpasses the length, width, depth, and height of anything else imaginable, this li'l ol' stuff that I'm shovelin'-n-pourin' out t' ya ain't nothin' but the likes of "a single 'drop' of water in a large ocean," honey. Whatchoo talkin' 'bout? Hmph.
Do you even have an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, tiny, smidgen or inkling of an idea, hint or clue of just how BIG my GOD is? 'Cause if you don't have one (an idea, hint or clue), I suggest that you hurry up and get one wit' da quickness! Okay? I'm just sayin'. :)
A Facebook Post (06/02/10) by My Sister-in-Christ and Friend For Life:
"Lady Linda L. Ransom"
"Lady Linda": Don't get frustrated with what you see...Don't worry about what others have...Don't focus on the cares of this world...because it is ALL "subject to change."
God is up to something! So, get ready! There is about to be a shift in the atmosphere! Whoo-Hoo!
Me/"Cassie" (in reply): 'Cause what you SEE is not always as it APPEARS to be. Only God's "Remnant" have the SUPERnatural x-ray vision that their Father has (Note: Take a look-see at II Corinthians 4:18). I'm one of 'em...how 'bout you? Touch somebody, and tell 'em, "SHIFT!"
Neither "frustrated" nor "worried" right about now,
"Lady Linda"(replying to my reply): Lady Cass...don't get me arrested...I almost took off running! You know they would have called the "people" on me...lol
Me/"Cassie" (replying to this last reply): Oh...but don't forget, "Lady Linda": We, the members of the Secret Sisterhood Circle of Friends Society of Coffee Drankers & Others United (SSCFSCDOU), got yo' back, honey! DON'T play wit' me up in here, on da FB! lol
Typically, during the tedious process of trying to tame the "UNRULY" tongue so that it will talk truthfully, sensibly, wisely and unapologetically, we've got to use Biblical tactics to TRAIN IT UP, which also involves teaching it to know when to just SHUT-TO-THE-UP! LOL
Many thanks to James (James 3:1-12), "Pete" (I Peter 3:10), King Solomon (Proverbs 18:21), "Matt" (Matthew 12:36-37), and Apostle Paul (Colossians 3:8-9) Y'all ROCK! "I ain't lyin'!" **in my BEST "Madea" voice** :)
In John 4:13-14 (KJV), "Jesus answered and said unto her (the Samaritan woman at the well), 'Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.'"
(NOTE: Ya gotz t' read da whole story, tho. ;) **wink**)
I IMAGINE that if I had been that woman, I probably would have run around, screaming and hollering, while broadcasting aloud:
Heeeeyyyy, EVERYBODY, I've got GREAT NEWS! Jesus The Living Well has invited ALL of us to come drink from the Fountain that NEVER runs dry! We can have as MUCH of His Living Water as we can hold, too! I'm talking about FREE REFILLS to the point of NEVER thirsting again; and the BEST part is...Jesus said, "The drinks are on Me." Honey, He didn't say nothin' but a Word! Okay? I am SO there! What about you? Last one in is a "rotten egg"! Whoo-hoo! YEAH, babyyyy!!! :)
**Uhm...DON'T judge me. LOL**
Lemme tell ya 'bout one o' my FAVOR-RIGHT (favorite) "Sibling Rivalry Moments,"
"Cassie" vs. "Sweet Candy"
Cassandra Roberson-Kelley & Candy Clinkscale Morton aka S.K.I.T.T.L.E.S.
(S)isters (K)eeping (I)n (T)ouch (T)o (L)ove, (E)ncourage and (S)upport
See...what had happened was...I challenged "Sweet Candy" to a li'l "sibling rivalry," after she sent me an @Heart app. on Facebook that said, "I Love Ya." LAWD, hamercy! What did I do that for? Here's what went down:
Me/"Cassie": I LOVE YOU MORE! Na-na-na-na-na!!! :p **wit' tongue stickin' all out-n-carryin' on** LOL
"Sweet Candy": You are crazy girl! You can't beat me loving! HaHa..... Tag, you're it!
"Cassie": WHATEVA, "Sweet Candy"! I gotz mo' "love trophies" than you can count on "bof" o' yo' hands and "bof" o' yo feet...shoot! LOL
"Sweet Candy": Oh Really.....How bout my name is CANDY LOVE!!!!! Hey!
"Cassie": PUH...leeease!!! I can top THAT! How 'bout "I" am LOVE, because GOD is LOVE, and HE's all up-n-down, in-n-around, ova-n-through, and roundabout me! WHAT?! lol
"Sweet Candy": LOL
"Cassie" (on Candy's page): Hmmm...I'm tryna think. Uhm...did I EVER tell you that I love you? Well, if I did, will you SUPER-SIZE that please? K, thx! ;) **wink**
Yo' CraZy-but-loves-me-some-you S.K.I.T.T.L.E.S. (lol),
"Sweet Candy": OHHHHHHHH. SO YOU REALLY TRYING TO OUT DO ME? STOP.....YOU CAN'T.....I WANT YOU TO SAY 100 TIMES.....CANDY LOVE .....CAUSE THAT WOULD BE ME! AND JUST KNOW.....I LOVE ME MY SKITTLES!
"Cassie": Give it up, my sista...'cause I gotz this one wrapped up tighter than an Egyptian mummy! Okay? DON'T play wit' me up in here, on da FB, "Sweety"! LOL
Now, all o' you "peeps" out there on da "wuhlwide web"...do I have to
tell you who won this fight, or can you figure it out all by yo'self? Yeah... Mmm-hmm. That's what I thought! I rest my case AND my "boxing gloves"...for now, anyway. LOL Thanks fo' all da FUN, "Sweet Candy"! For the record, I love you forever and six-and-a-half weeks and counting! :)
I thank You, Heavenly FATHER, FOR Your divine FAVOR in helping me to FIND some of the most FABULOUS FRIENDS and FAMILY on FACEBOOK! They're so much FUN to FIGHT-n-FELLOWSHIP with, while the FRESH FRAGRANCE of the FRUIT of Your love FLOWS FREELY and FAITHFULLY. I look FORWARD to it, both now and FOREVER. You're the most FANTASTIC FATHER ever! :)
FORTUNATELY, God's FAITHFULNESS to defend us FURNISHES enough FORTITUDE FOR us to FLOURISH and FINISH on top, despite the FACT that others - including FAMILY, FRIENDS and FOES – are apt to FAIL us, FORSAKE us, and even FORGET about us. But neither FRET nor FEAR. Rather, FORGE FORWARD into the FUTURE, and keep the FAITH, FOLKS. 'Cause the bottom line FO' SHO' is that God has the FINAL say so. Now, let's GO…FOOT! Oops…I mean, shoot! FORGIVE me, will ya? LOL Be blessed!
MANY Thanks and MUCH Love To My Sister-in-Christ and Friend For Life:
"Lady Pastor Sylvia Cunningham"
(Beware: She's "oo-wee" dangerous! lol)
"Lady Sylvia" (preachin' on da FB, 07/23/10): The enemy will use YOU against YOU to deceive YOU, deter YOU, distract YOU and discombobulate YOU & YOU won't even realize YOU used YOU to destroy YOU!
Me/"Cassie": YOU betta tell YOU again, 'cause YOU "tryna" act like YOU don't understand what YOU talkin' 'bout! LOL
In the process o' gettin' YOU t'getha and "in check" up in here,
"Lady Sylvia": lolololololololololol
Woman Sues Disney™, Claims Donald Duck Groped Her... August 12, 2010 News Story - WFTV Orlando
Feedback from Me & My Sister-in-Christ and Friend For Life:
"Lady Evangelist Jessica D. Bell"
Me/"Cassie": DONALD!!! Say it isn't so!
"Lady Jessica": Donald----says, "Quack is WACK!!!!!"
"Cassie": LOL Where is Aflac at? Shoot! :)
"Lady Jessica": Chile (Child), Aflac and Geico are vacationing on a Beach Resort in Miami.
"Cassie": STOP IT, "Lady Jessica"! You're hurtin' "bof" (both) o' my SIDES! lol
FB Post by "Lady Linda L. Ransom"
August 13, 2010:
"Lady Linda": I have a plethora of friends...they are doctors...lawyers... police officers...teachers...preachers...etc...but my very BEST friend used to be a carpenter. =)
Me/"Cassie": Jesus the ex-Carpenter...LOVE Hiiiiiaaaaammmmmuah! I hear ya, "Lady Linda"! Yes-to-da-MA'AM, and hallelujah to The Lamb! **'bout t' do da "SHONDO" fo' REAL up in here (no ushers necessary)!** lol
"Lady Linda": lol @ Lady Cass...lol...Not the "no assistance required" praise break...too funny...
Dr. Phebe Moore-Simmons
(At it again, August 14, 2010...on da FB! lol)
"Lady Phebe": Married love...high quality...ain't nothin' like it! Don't settle for the store brand (shacking)...you get what you pay for...I'm just saying... :)
Me/"Cassie": SAY ON, Sis...but turn yo' mic up, so they can hear ya REAL GOOD. I'm just sayin', too. Hellerrrr. Halleluyerrrr. I still love yerrrr. :)
"Lady Phebe": LOL...I hear ya, Lady Cassie! Got the microphone at full blast! Can you hear me now? :)
"Cassie": LOUD-n-CLEAR, "Doc"! :)
"Lady Linda": AMEN Lady Phebe...I don't like renting movies...cars... appliances...etc...(my OCD won't let me be comfortable in something that has been touched and possibly violated by the masses)...so, renting a man is NOT an option for me...I believe in "ownership"...nothing like having your very own life-size action figure...lol
"Cassie": LOL...(L)aid (O)ut (L)ongwayz **too tickled to add "anotha thang" to THAT there!**
"Lady Phebe": LOL, Lady Cassie!
"Lady Linda": Lol @ Lady Cassie...you are too much...Help...lawd...smh
Okay...so, I'm at church singing the song, "Count Your Blessings"
(Name Them One By One)
Then I remembered something that my S.K.I.T.T.L.E.S. (Candy Clinkscale Morton) said a few days prior to that, which was:
"Do the math...Count your BLESSINGS!"
After thinking about it for a brief moment,
I came to the following conclusion:
Just ONE (1) thing + JESUS the "Great Mathematician" = a "broke" calculator!
'Cause HE is TOO MUCH of a blessing ALL BY HIMSELF!
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout? Wheeeew!
Me/"Cassie": Satan is SOOOOOOO DUMB!!!
"You Cyberspace Peeps" (together in unison): How DUMB is he?
"Cassie": He had the audacity to "roll up" in the ONLY True & Living God's "Spiritual Court of Law," desperately "tryna" file a complaint against a ROCK-SOLID, DIEHARD baptized Believer of the Christian Faith, whom he attempted to destroy by using atavistic tactics. Ask me what happened. Go 'head...ask me. I'll wait fo' ya. **whistlin'-n-waitin' right about now**
"You Cyberspace Peeps": What happened?
"Cassie": Well, I'm glad you asked. Needless to say, with ONE deafening strike of God's "ver, ver" HUMONGOUS "Spiritual Gavel," the case was dismissed and thrown out wit' da quickness, because there wasn't enough "concrete evidence" for it to "hold up" in Court! UN...believable! **smh**
Can you say, "DE-fense!" **clap, clap, clap** "DE-fense!" **clap, clap, clap** in honor of Jesus Christ the "Spiritual Defense Attorney"? IN...credible! :)
"You Cyberspace Peeps" (chanting out of obedience - lol): DE-fense! **clap, clap, clap** DE-fense! **clap, clap, clap**
"Cassie": THUMP! **passes SLAP OUT (speechless), under the POWer of da Truth, da whole Truth, and nothin' but da Truth!**
Uhm...excuse me. I have a question t' ask: What iz you...I mean, what are you complaining SO much about, huh? LISTEN: I've got issues, you've got issues. Honey, ALL God's chi'ren gotz some kinda issues! Shoot! Don't fool yo'self. But LOOKA here, tho: Lemme remind ya of somethin' "ver, ver" important. Hear me good now, 'cause I don't want ya t' miss nothin' I'm finna say. Okay? A'ight, then. :)
When life's BAD NEWS gives you the blues, REMEMBA:
Jesus is "The Tissue Fo' Yo' Issue!"
Fasten Your Seat Belts...
It's Time For a Li'l Java & PMS!
(No...not THAT kind! Just read on, please. Thank you. **Sigh**)
Dr. (P)hebe (M)oore (S)immons & N'em Cuttin' Up On da FB
August 26, 2010
"Lady Phebe": Enjoying a hot cup of coffee...ask me anything...I'm in that happy place...you have a 92.3% chance of your request being granted... :)
"Lady Linda Ransom": Will you wash my car...pick up my dry cleaning & bake me a peach cobbler (Pssst...I can wait until November when your kitchen re-opens)...lol
Me/"Cassie": Question: Will you excuse me while I make my OWNself a cup? Check YES__ or NO__ (PLEASE say, "YES!") **PMS "likes"...which means, "YES." :)**
"Lady Kathy Lay Smith": Ummmmm peach cobbler does sound good! :)
"Lady Phebe": I'm cracking up, Ladies!!! That cup of coffee is now gone and the request hour is officially over. LOL
"Lady Linda": Lord, there is a catch to everything...(putting dry cleaning receipt back in my Daytimer...lol)...smh
"Lady Phebe": LOLOLOLOL Linda! :)
"Cassie": "Lady Phebe," you know "right good" that there is at least a li'l bit o' coffee still within you. (NOTE:"You Cyberspace Peeps," it was some left/trapped inside of her, and she knew it!) C'mon! You're still in that "happy place," right? LOL
"Lady Phebe": Lady Cassie...the birds have stopped singing, the sun is hidden, and the clouds are not as bright anymore...lol...it was good to the last drop! The happy place is almost a distant memory now...well, until my next fresh cup! :)
"Cassie": Ohhhh...WHATEVA, "Lady Phebe"! **reminding m'self that love beareth and endureth ALL things, including this here nonsense from Dr. PMS**
"Lady Phebe": Lady Cassie!!! I'm rolling over here...that's a good one! Wait...hold on...I think I see the sun coming out again...the happy place is just a cup of java away! LOLOLOLOLOLOL
"Cassie": Now, THAT's what I'm talkin' 'bout! There is hope for you yet, "Lady Phebe"! Ya heard me? :) **PMS "likes" again. YAY! lol**
It has been reported that on Friday night, August 27, 2010, "Lady Gaye Arbuckle" and some other HIGHly anointed, POWer-packin', note-slangin', "ver, ver" FIERCE gospel "sangas" (NOTE: Me ain't talkin' 'bout me. I plead "The Fifth...") busted into Mt. Olive Missionary Baptist Church in Fort Worth, TX and SLAP WRECKED the place! Yep...TO' IT UP! Windows were shattered, pews were tumbled ova, knockin' the occupants thereof clean off their buttocks, carpet was ripped from folks' doin' da "holy dance," mic system blown out, musical instruments played t' death. The whole scene was catastrophic! No charges were filed, however, when it was discovered that GOD DID IT! Hello, somebody! LOL
Now, you REALLY DON'T wanna attempt t' place the ALMIGHTY GOD under arrest, do you? Well...I REALLY DIDN'T think so NEITHA! :)
ATTENTION EVERYBODY EVERYWHERE: Please come forward, if you happen to know the whereabouts of GOOD COMMON SENSE...last spotted being "thrown out the window" of a mind that was once SOUND. Now, for WHATEVA reason, G.C.S. is M.I.A. at a time when SO MANY are in dire need of its PRACTICAL yet ESSENTIAL services in helping them to become more EFFECTIVE and PRODUCTIVE citizens in today's society.
An EMERGENCY "Search and Rescue Team" has been organized to assist in the efforts of FINDING and IDENTIFYING G.C.S., to hopefully bring FINAL CLOSURE to this MIND-BOGGLING mystery!
"Lady Phebe": "...been raining the last couple of days...sun is trying to come out this morning. It's a beautiful day nonetheless because I'm alive to see it!" :)
Me/"Cassie": Good "mornTing"...it's me "SUNSHINE"! The clouds got me covered up, but I'm comin' out wit' my hands up! \0/ LOL
"Lady Phebe": LOL...come out, Sunshine! LOL \0/
"Cassie": Otay...as soon as my "DADDY" lemme come out t' play! LOL
"Lady Phebe": LOL...okay. Let me get my shades ready then! :)
"Cassie": Yeah...THAT's right, 'cause it pays t' be ready. Don't act like you don't know what's UP already! LOL
A "Funny" From My Brother-in-Christ & Friend For Life:
Sir Steven "Bo" Beaudoin, Jr.
Sir "Bo": What do you tell a body that has feet at war with its eyes and a mouth that despises its ears? What do you tell 'em? Sit down, shut up, and listen before you hurt yourself.
Me/"Cassie": LOL...I think I would be too tickled, with a lot o' difficulty bein' understood, Sir "Bo"! OMGlasses! I can't see through deez "crocodile tears" (from laughter) NEITHA! Wheeeew! Perhaps I'd betta get somewhere-n-SAT down before I hurt my OWNself, too! LOL
Solicitin' da prayers o' da righteous even now,
Special Birthday Spotlight On My Fellow-"Septemberites"
Exclaiming With a Voice of Cheer:
"'SEPTEMBERITES' UNITE, 'cause our future's lookin' BRIGHT,
And according to the Word of God, it's already ALRIGHT!
Therefore, we honor Him and praise Him with all our MIGHT,
With plans to celebrate us well into the NIGHT!" LOL
\0/ <--(wavin' imaginary Pom-Poms and carryin' on),
My Birthday Song Arrangement "Redemption" (Rendition)
Dedicated To My Producer/Brother-in-Christ and Friend For Life:
Sir Rev. Willie Stewart, Jr.
STEP LIGHTLY, AND TRY NOT T' BUST A GUT...HEAR?
I'M JUST SAYIN'.
**Clearin' my "throak" and singin'...**
Haaaapy birrrrfday to a-you. Haaaapy birrrrfday to a-you. Haaaapy birrrrfday, dear gifted hands with anointed fingers-possessing, Hammond B-3 organ-destroying, prolific songwriting skills-sharing, record label-owning, Up-n-Coming New Artists-producing, CraZy-but-gotta-love-him Sir Rev. Willie Stewart, Jrrrrrr! Wheeeew! **"breave" (breathe)** Haaaapy birrrrfday toooo a-youuuu (endin' on a note so high, ya gotz t' catch it in da Spirit realm t' hear it)! LOL
Wit' lots o' love-n-BEST wishes-n-stuff,
Sir "Rev." (in reply): LOL Only you can say and do what you do! Many thanks to you, your mother, Sis. Carrie Roberson, and all the original singers-musicians who have been a great inspiration in my productions, etc. Many have come sincerely and given so much to help make me - what it was, and now what it is! I'm so delighted to produce-write and play on this new production-CD of yours! Thanks for the birthday wishes. Now pray my strength! After today's (09/06/10) celebration, my name will be:
Rev. Studio Live Producing, Songwriting, Keyboardist, Hats-Wearing, Lively Record Label Engineering, Distribution, Marketing, Preaching, Devil-Beating, Overcoming Stewart! LOL
Me/"Cassie": LAWD, hamercy, hagrace, and PLEASE, Suh Jesus, haOXYGEN...'cause a sista SHO 'NUF needz t' "breave" after ALL o' dat! Wheeeew! LOL OMGlasses! **tears (from laughter) on my lenseses!** :) See there? Got a sista all "mixed turned around-n-carryin' on"...shoot! LOL
My Brother-in-Christ and Friend For Life:
Sir Broderick E. Rice
"Always remember to believe ABOVE what you're going THROUGH."
--Broderick 'The' Empowertainer--(c-2010)
Yes, Sir! Have a good day ABOVE the circumstances...not UNDER 'em! HELLow, and HEAVENhigh! LOL
A proud honor student of the "BroDERickan language,"
"If you're not LOOKING for it by FAITH, you'll never SEE it by SIGHT."
--Broderick 'The' Empowertainer--(c-2010)
"Lemme BREAK it DOWN. Don't depend on your NATURAL eyes to see SUPER NATURAL things."
FAITH is the "LOOKin' glasses" that God prescribed for you at the "SUPER VISION Optical Center" down yonder on the "cornTer" of Hebrews 11th & 1st Streets, in the city of Yahweh
(not to be confused with Yahoo!) WHAT?!
Just "tryna" keep up wit' my teacher Mr. B. E. Rice (lol),
"FUN'n" On da FB Wit' My Sister-in-Christ and Friend For Life:
"Lady Jacqueline (Jackie) Hill"
"Lady J": When your volunteers work better than those you hire, hire your volunteers!
Me/"Cassie": SLOT FILLED, NO MO' VACANCIES, and CASE CLOSED, people!!! :)
Wit' NOWN NOTHA "thang" t' add t' THAT there (lol),
"Lady J": ...there is one thing to add...I love you sis!!! Lol!
"Cassie": APPROVED, Sis. MUAH! :)
Well, I thought I'd stop by "Lady Evangelist Vandalyn Kennedy"'s FB page and leave this li'l birthday "redemption" (rendition) for her, since her birthday is September 20th, right? After viewing it, tho, she 'bout lost her own identity, y'all! LOL Ya don't believe me? See fo' yo'self (proof underlined):
**Clearin' my "throak"-n-singin' da LAST line of...**
Haaaapy birrrrfday, dear POWerfully anointed, yoke-destroyin', devil-terrorizin', atmosphere-changin', saints-admonishin', mighty prayer warrior (intercedin' fo' other folks-n-carryin' on), "sangin'"-evangelist "Lady Vandalyyyynnnn"! Wheeeew! **"breave" (breathe)** Haaaapy birrrrfday toooo a-youuuu (endin' on a note so high, ya gotz t' catch it in da Spirit realm t' hear it)! LOL
Wit' lots o' love-n-BEST wishes-n-stuff,
ha!!!! lolol...hilarious...PLEASE pray for me sis.
I don't know who in the world you are talking about
but thanks for the birthday wishes...
PLEASE pray for me...you are too much.
(What did I tell ya, "Cyberspace Peeps"? NOW do you believe me? Mm-hmm, right. -"Cassie")
Is it me or does it seem like PMS appears on da regular? I'm just askin'.
(Gotcha! Smile...now, you know that was a good one, don'tcha? lol)
Dr. (P)hebe (M)oore (S)immons:
Tomorrow (09/22/10) is the first official day of fall! Whoo-hoo!! Come on coffee weather!! :)
Me/"Cassie": BABIEEEES, God knows that my FAVOR-RIGHT (favorite) season is FALL! Okay? A sista is ALREADY SET, and my coffee quota WILL BE MET! Mess wit' me, if ya wanna; but I guarantee ya...I gotz somethin' fo' ya! LOL
"Whooin' t' da Who" that "makes it do what it do" (hellerrrr),
"Lady Phebe": Lady Cassie!! I'm hollering over here!! Yes, indeed!! :)
I CAN'T help but CALL to mind how CLEVER it is that my favor-right (favorite) letter in the English alphabet is "C" - the beginning of COOL words such as: CALVARY, CROSS, CHRIST, CHRISTIAN, CHURCH, CASSIE, CHILDREN, CHOCOLATE, COFFEE...**gasps!**
\0/<-- (wit' hands all up in da air) Stop the presses! I got a revelation! OMGlasses! **tears o' joy on my lenseses!**
CATCH this, if ya CAN:
So, as often as ye drink "this cup" (CONTAINER of Truth), do it in remembrance of Jesus the CHRIST, and then CELEBRATE through da roof! Alright? **takes a sip** M'mmm...ahhhh! Good to the everLASTing drop! CHEERS, "Kingdom Kinfolks"! Now, is that CUTE or what? Well... CUTE, of COURSE! Duh! **smh** :)
"Reminiscin'-n-Carryin' On" With
"Lady Frieda Porter"
LOL! You are hilarious!
WHATEVA, "Boo"! ;) **wink**
Do you remember when you used to dance and improv in your living room to Matty (Correction: Mattie) Moss Clark?! Everytime I hear a song by her or her daughters I think of you. :)
"Cassie": Don't HATE ON me, Sis...CELEBRATE WITH me, 'cause I STILL GOT IT! Whatchoo talkin' 'bout? Shoot! LOL
A Lifetime Fan of the Late Dr. Mattie Moss-Clark & N'em, **hehehehe!**
"Lady (Psalmist) Sharon Jackson"
(Quoting Psalms 34:1, KJV, on da FB)
"I WILL bless the Lord at all times, and
His praise SHALL continually be in my mouth."
Me/"Cassie": "CONTINUE" then, my Facebook "ALLY"! Get it? "CONTINUALLY"? Oh...NEVA mind, or "SHALL" we? Hmmmm. I love you, Sis. :)
Because "all times" still deserve "His praise,"
Sir Broderick E. Rice:
"I TRY to SHUT UP sometimes,
but my MIND just keeps LEAKING."
Da buildin' o' yo' MIND might be LEAKING,
but look at yo'self in da MIRROR and say,
"I SHALL NOT be MOVED!" :)
Grabbin' a BIG ol' BUCKET t' catch some o' da DRIPPIN's (lol),
(aka "An Honor Student of the 'BroDERickan Language'")
"Lady Wanda Bell"
Ministering on da FB:
Positive thinking elevates your altitude. When you raise your thinking about situations and circumstances and view them from a higher altitude and attitude, they will appear to be so small. Stop stressing over the "little" things that want to appear "bigger" than what they really are.
Me/"Cassie": Rrrring! Rrrring! **At "God's Storehouse Drive-Thru Menu Board"**
Uhm...yes...I would like to order Your "Love Combo Meal" for my WANDAful sista-friend "Lady da WANDA Bell." Oh, and SUPER-SIZE that, please. K, thx (that is all).
**Angelic voice on the intercom** "That will be '0' (zero) dollars and '0' (zero) cents, ma'am, since JESUS saw you coming and paid your debt before you got here." WHAT?! :)
Because we got it like that (lol),
"Sweet Lady Candy Clinkscale Morton"
Testifyin' on da FB...on Her B'day
"I've been through the storm & rain, but I made it...I've had sickness & I've had pain, but I made it. I THANK GOD FOR ALLOWING ME TO SEE ANOTHER BIRTHDAY!! OMG, I'M GRATEFUL!"
Psalms 139:14 (KJV)
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."
There is NONE like you, "Sweet Candy,"
And that is exactly how God PLANNED IT.
So, just "BE you & DO you,"
Because as "His own" you have been "BRANDED"! lol
Here's a "ver, ver" special song "redemption" (rendition) fo' ya, Sis.
**"sangin'"-n-clappin'-n-rockin' from side-to-side**
GO, "Candy"! **clap!** GO, "Candy"! **clap!**
It's yo' "birfday"! **clap!** It's yo' "birfday"! **clap!** LOL
I know...I know; but I STILL love ya, and that's all ya needz t' know right about now. Hehehehe! ;) **wink** Lord, bless my S.K.I.T.T.L.E.S. in Jesus' precious name. AMEN...and it IS so. :)
Celebratin' YOU and the GOD Who "makes it do what it do,"
Havin' Another "P.M.S. Moment"
w/(P)hebe (M)oore (S)immons On da FB
(Uhm...iz you ready fo' dis? Really? lol)
"Lady Phebe": So, I had a little talk with Jesus this morning (10/11/10)...it was pretty awesome...the way He gives me His undivided attention...the way He makes me feel like I'm the only one that matters...the way He listens to me...the way He loves me unconditionally. It's called a relationship with Him...got one? :)
Me/"Cassie": Yes, ma'am, "Lady Phebe"...I got one, and I'm "bull-dog" determined to keep it. So, that ol' good-for-NOTHIN' low-down, disgusting devil ain't got a "thang" t' convince me t' trade it for NO KINDA relationship with his "hellish self" NO WAY-n-NO HOW! Any other questions for me, Sis? Shoot! I done got mad! LOL
"Lady Phebe": LOL @ hellish self!! I'm rolling over here, Lady Cassie!!
"Lady Linda (Ransom)": lmbo @ Lady Cass..."hellish"...OMG...
Cassie's "Christianized" Confession & Clearance of Character
(To provide y'all wit' a li'l bit mo' clarity - lol)
"I'm a 'STRAIGHT-UP ADDICT' 24/7!" Yep, it's true:
1. HOOKED on "Per Scripture (prescription) Medicine" (merriment; laughter -Proverbs 17:22).
2. DRUNK with "New Wine" (the Holy Spirit, that is) and, of course, my "Beer" of choice: "Root" (from the "Root of David," which is "Jesus Christ" - tastes like "Living Water" to me, tho...I'm just sayin'.)
3. ENSLAVED to "Wordography" (called "Word" for short). Hey...what can I say? It fascinates me! Okay?
But the BEST part of my "situation" is this right here:
Almighty God (or God Almighty..."same thang"/same meaning) is totally cool wit' it and doesn't require that I check myself into "Rehab" because of it, especially since "His Anointing" serves as enough "Divine Intervention" to handle it! So, there. Call me, "God's Ecstatic Fanatic." WHATEVA, "Boo"...I don't care. No matter who or what you call me, I'm still gonna love ya! Hear? ;) **wink**
Psssst...CONCENTRATE, and let this here PENETRATE:
When we stop long enough to CALCULATE-n-EVALUATE how "good" God has been "to" us, as opposed to how "bad" we think things are "around" us, the former outweighs the latter, and thereby confirms what "Mr. Brown" (a Tyler Perry Production) once said:
"This ain't no funeral...this is a CELEBRATE!"
Now, to this I can sho' 'nuff RELATE. lol
"Pastor Sylvia Cunningham"
(Overseer-Elect for 2011):
"It's alright to be a copycat, as long as you're copying the RIGHT cat! I am a carbon copy of Abba Father! I am made in His image, likeness & I have His DNA!!"
Me/"Cassie": ALL DAY, 24/7, "Lady Sylvia"! In the words of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior:
"When you see ME,
you've seen THE FATHER."
(Referring to St. John 14:9)
Come on, now. :)
"ME"-OW'n just like HIM,
Sir Broderick E. Rice At It Again, Folks:
"Don't just STAND there...'YOU' something."
--Broderick 'The' Empowertainer--(c-2010)
And when "YOU'n" it, "YOU" it with excellence,
Which is always the best way to "YOU" it! :)
Wisdom Shared By "Lady Linda L. Ransom":
"Despise not humble beginnings...after all, an oak tree is nothing more than an acorn that held its ground..." *wink*
That's my "undercover/underground name."
Y'all ain't ready fo' me, tho. WHAT?! lol
"sista-friend" for life,
A SPECIAL NEWS REPORT:
(And the Initial FB Feedback on Friday, 10/22/10)
Be on da LOOKOUT fo' a pack o' "RUNAWAY BLESSINGS" on da loose, goin' 'round chasin'-n-overtakin' da "Children of God" in da "streets of life," knockin' 'em down, runnin' 'em over, and leavin' 'em wit' a heapin' helpin' o' "spiritually-harvested crops," along wit' an abbreviated note from I Corinthians 2:9, "Dis just a FORETASTE o' what yo' EYES haven't seen and yo' EARS haven't heard yet. Deal wit' it!" :)
"Lady Carmen Simmons": I LOVE IT!!!!
"Lady Carla Gardner": And I plan on doing just that, dealing with it. Thanks for the Word!!
"Lady Arlene Hunt-Jacobs": Love it!!!!
Sir Pastor David Watson (my "cuz'n"): Well, Imma gonna go stand out in da middle of dem streets & as a matter of fact imma gonna go let my children & grandchildren play in 'em.
"Lady Roslyn 'Rozz' Crump": I accept runaways (Blessings that iz...). They are welcome in my home anytime. Love it, and I love you 2 boo. ;-)
"Sweet Lady Candy Clinkscale Morton" (aka my "S.K.I.T.T.L.E.S."): I believe God! I believe the Word of the Lord.
Me/"Cassie": See...y'all feel me, don'tcha?! Well, shoot...how 'bout we ALL just go on out there "in da middle o' dem streets" and get RUN SLAP OVA (no umbrella or bodyguards required NEITHA)! We're in good hands with "GODSTATE" (not to be confused with ALLSTATE Insurance...I'm just sayin'). Yeah, babyyyy! Whoo-hoo! LOL
"Lady Pam Wilson": I like that!! I RECEIVE THAT IN JESUS' NAME!
"Lady LaKreiasha Wright": "Sha da ba ha" (tongues)...Lady Cassie, you just gone and let the Lord use ya!! I'm standing outside ret (right) now!! I BELIEVE GOD!! Ha, glory!! Thank you, sis!!
"Lady CaSandra Thomas": I receive that and I am on the lookout, 'cause I have been waitin' for them to tackle me...LOL
"Lady Moneque Richmond": SHILOH!
"Lady Evangelist Patricia R. Lewis": Girl, I snatched that blessing immediately. You have a very unique way of making the Word understood. God bless you!
Me/"Cassie": Thanks, "Kingdom Kinfolks"! A sista just "tryna" keep y'all informed-n-updated about what's REALLY goin' on, despite the despicable nature of the Enemy: "What's-his-name"! :)
"Lady Evangelist Patricia R. Lewis": His name is defeated, because I am blessed and highly favored of God. I refuse to succumb to the tricks and tactics of Satan. I'm more than a conqueror, and I've just made contact with my miracle. Glory!
Sir Rev. Willie Stewart, Jr.: I receive it, and blessings to you.
Sir Elder Larry Henson: Looking right NOW.
Get the Message, Get God, Get Groomed, and Get t' Steppin'!